When Your Mental Illness Tricks You Into Believing You’re a Bad Parent

Lately, every time I see my child I feel like a bad parent. I’m internalizing thoughts that I’m a bad mother right now, and my son isn’t even here. It’s not because I sat down to write this article, no. It’s because on Valentine’s Day I didn’t ask my son to be my Valentine like I planned. Like I should have. I am writing this article as much for me as I am for you. I know the coping skills needed to assuage the shame I feel. I know now I need validation just like you do that I’m not alone feel

This Book Made Me Laugh at My Mood Disorder

Bipolar disorder is no walk in the park, and I speak with the expert authority this mood disorder has given me. As if it takes an expert to know that. Bipolar disorder brushes nearly everyone that has ever lived because this consuming illness directly affects our relationships. An episode causes a spiral up or down, or seemingly straight into another dimension, and the collateral damage caused to everyone and everything around seems inevitable. But it’s not. It doesn’t have to be this way.

How To Define Who You Are When You’ve Lost Part of Yourself

How can a noun, one word, encapsulate an entire identity? I attended dance classes from ages 4–18. I have danced on and off since I turned 19, but nothing was so immersive, so entirely enthralling as intensive classes 15 hours a week. I never intended to become a professional dancer. I did not foresee how quitting something I’ve done my entire life would affect me. Once I stopped dancing regularly, I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was always “the dancer,” but once I wasn’t anymore, who was I

How To Fight Feelings of Jealousy Toward Your Child’s Stepparent

It’s not so much of a fight as a surrender. Hear me out. *Originally published in The Orange Journal on Medium* The jealousy I’m referring to revolves around the relationship between the stepparent and your child, not the stepparent and your ex-partner. This manifestation of jealousy is raw and about as emotional as it gets. It boils down to the same root of jealousy that you’d feel toward your partner or if your best friend ditched you for the new girl. We’re jealous because we’re scared of

Ostara: Exploring the Themes of the Spring Equinox

*Originally published in The Pagan Publication on Medium.* The month of March heralds a time of rebirth and rejuvenation. Spring is waiting in the wings as we make plans to celebrate Ostara. Allow the rain to wash away your worries from winter, and the wind to raise you to new heights. Here is hope. All you have to do is receive. Ostara marks the Spring Equinox, which is around March 20th in the Northern Hemisphere and September 20th in the Southern Hemisphere. Ostara is one of the eight Pagan

The Changes – a short story

Carlo stubbed his toe Monday morning. Not a big deal. Rusty sat in the doorway of his bedroom, an onlooker to the pain and suffering as he hopped up and down, rubbing his toe against his leg. He had been reaching for the same brown leather wing-tipped shoes he wore Monday through Friday to his accounting job. The pain was more of an itch by the time Carlo pulled into his parking space at 8:45 a.m. He sat at the desk, sneaking his foot out of the shoe and relieving it against his leg. The itchin

How ‘Mindful Moments for Busy Moms’ Gave Me Back My Sanity

Seriously. I treat this book like some children of God do the Holy Bible; I pour over it at times, and other times, I get busy and let it collect dust. Then I wonder why I feel so lost. Then I remember my book and begin again. Recently, I’d lost track of it because I still had some things in boxes from my move. Luckily, it emerged one day not long ago, and I’m having a wonderful time revisiting its pages. The timeless clarity of the message is right in the title: Mindful Moments for Busy Moms:

The First Love Letter I've Written That I Don't Hate

*Originally published in What Is Love To You? on Medium* I didn’t know I was missing pieces until you found where I’d left them and put them back. I never took a breath so deep, a drink so long, or rest so restorative. You are all the good things. For the first time, I can say, “this is healthy.” This is independent together. Leaning on one another, swaying in the currents of time, holding one another so neither of us falls. Sunshine on your face, the warm crackle of a fire, the delicate beat

Milk – a short story

The musk of milk clung to the air, present in every molecule. It wasn’t quite the stale stench of regurgitated milk on clothes waiting to be laundered, but the sweet doughy smell that oozed from the skin of small children, making them supple and slippery. It came away on the skin whenever you touched a toddler. The moisture stained, and if you held them, then it was absorbed into your clothes and hair. The density of the milk musk was too similar to mayonnaise, which Janice was spreading on a l

The Search – a poem

The frequency sings To that flower inside you Wings beat against your ribs With abandon Your psyche, it melts As the Light Orchestra plays Meanwhile, I dance while I pray The search for me Is incessant Never finding Divinity In my shadows But for you Where there’s song There are miracles Answers emerge to Questions you didn’t ask In the melodies strummed By your fingertips The light I’ve been chasing Lives within you The questions that troubled you Ring from my lips And wh

Vantage Point of Paradise – a poem

The mustard yellow chair In my grandmother’s kitchen Is gone now, like my childhood Like the innocence that was taken From my mother before her time. This chair, it was older than I Like a wise lap on which to perch Its arms kept me calm, the only Stability I had to grasp A stability which was new here I’d lean against the upholstered buttons, My vantage point of the oasis Outside the glass window Fuchsia and violet flowers, Almost violent on the eyes Mint and rosemary, pungent an

How to Improve Your Relationships and Develop Empathy

If you’re having any problems with any relationships you need to develop your empathy ASAP. Improving your capacity for empathy will improve your capacity for love. Having a hard time relating to your kid? Overwhelmed by the myriad of problems in this world, and feel like there’s nothing you can do? Don’t lose hope. It may seem impossible to make positive change in the world, or maybe your romantic relationship is on it’s last leg. Maybe your child wants to stay with their other parent most
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